Top 10 terrible TV show ideas

I chose my professions because I would be absolutely useless creating TV shows. Here are my top 10 ideas, none of which would likely fly on telly.
   Downtown Abby. Eight Is Enough sequel. Abby and Tom Bradford move to a swanky San Francisco apartment, now that the kids have left home. But good help is hard to find these days. Dick van Patten and Betty Buckley reprise their roles.
   The Fresh Prince of Bel Fast. Set during the Troubles, about an Irish lad growing up in Bogside, a predominantly Catholic part of Derry City, being touted by gang elements. After getting into trouble playing football outside his school, his mother decides to send him to his uncle and aunt in a wealthy Protestant enclave in north Belfast.
   Samantha Who. Doctor Who spin-off, carrying on the adventures of the Doctor’s daughter who was extrapolated from his DNA in ‘The Doctor’s Daughter’. Since the Doctor has left, she has adopted a new name, and is trying to discover more about her father’s past.
   The Apprentice: Death Row Edition. They’ve tried the celebrity version; now it’s the turn of people who have been forgotten by society. The winner gets out of jail. The loser each week, unfortunately, has to hear the words, ‘You’re fried!’
   Life on Veronica Mars. Kristen Thomas wakes up 35 years ago after being struck by a Chrysler Le Baron. Is she mad, in a coma, or back in time?
   The Postman Pat. Pat drives his Royal Mail van in a post-apocalyptic landscape.
   Colombo. In the tradition of the foreign-set Van der Valk, Zen and Wallander, the BBC sets its new cop drama in Sri Lanka, with a glass-eyed, raincoat-wearing detective with a penchant for kottu.
   O’Jack. Similar idea to the above, but set in Northern Ireland, about a bald RUC detective who is partial to Oatfield’s toffee, solving crimes on both sides of the divide.
   American Horror Story. A reality show with cameras following the 2014 mid-term Senate elections.
   Game of Thrones. Yet another home makeover show, but focusing only on the water closet. Participants have to deal with plumbing, toilets, tiles and interior design. Minor appeal perhaps, but you’d never think those other ones would do so well, would you?
   I jest, but I really would watch some of these (except for The Apprentice: Death Row Edition, which is just sick) over some of the crap on television today.

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One thought on “Top 10 terrible TV show ideas

  1. You could be on to something, Jack– Mashup TV. Just wait; someone bored enough might find a way to cleverly edit the corresponding pairs from existing episode footage. No, seriously. If someone can cleverly edit news clips of Brian Williams so it looks like he’s rapping, this can be done.

    I’ll send you a clip on Twitter.

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